Bigger is better?

It was big. And smelled like athletic socks that have been left stewing in a gym bag for weeks. Pungent. I bit my lip. Could I really do this? Closing my eyes, I plunged ahead. My life motto is "never say never." Actually, it's "look both ways before you cross the street," but safety isn't sexy.

Bracing myself, I went for it. I swallowed. I shouldn't have. It was like licking a fencepost wearing a home-tanned deerskin shirt. In case you've never had the pleasure: rough, dry, and gamey.

"This isn't quite what I expected," I choked out, trying to find some way to restore moisture to my mouth. I'd been promised silk and satin, not Daniel Boone.

He smirked at me over the rim of his wineglass. "I like it rough," he whispered.

What we drank: 2006 Barbaresco

Scoring: 3 out of 5 handcuffs